I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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