Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize