Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
