went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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