If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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