Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The air was thick with penises
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
