we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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