Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
