so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
