Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
