i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
