Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
