3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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