just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
