It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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