After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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