Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
