that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
