Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
