My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
