Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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