OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
