When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
