your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
cat food counts as protein by the way
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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