a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
