Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
