Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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