spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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