Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
