How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Houston, we have a squirter
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
