the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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