Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
