google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
