Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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