I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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