last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize