i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
