This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
