I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
