On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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