it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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