When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
