I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
