Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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