hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm too high and old for this...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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