They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
