so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize