these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
