I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
