Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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