While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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