I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
