whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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