I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
