Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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