you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
