one might say we're banned from that church
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
