i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
