she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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