Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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