Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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