I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
