do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
