Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
